tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
