oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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