apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
