I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
