i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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