I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
