so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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