We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Actions speak louder than pants.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize