I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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