you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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