well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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