Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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