she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
