Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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