i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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