Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
