he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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