if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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