my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
