She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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