I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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