Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
