guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
