you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
