hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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