capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
