I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
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Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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