I smell stomach acid.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
