I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
