Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Buhtt sex?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
