Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
