It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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