I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
