No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's never too late to be topless.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
