But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
