I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize