You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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