Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
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