hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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