Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
