his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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