Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize