I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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