Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize