I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize