I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Randomize
