Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
