Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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