Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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