Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
