you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
