The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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