Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
