But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
