I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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