Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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