I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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