so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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