im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
