woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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