I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
