his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
