hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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