Umm I'm too high to move.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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