Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
