dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
