You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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