dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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