If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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