Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Randomize
